My babies have a cold. Their eyes are producing mucus and gluing themselves closed. It’s gross. And it happens a lot.

It’s really sad to hear them wheezing away, but they hate it when I try to do anything about it.

  • Wipe your eyes? Nope, scream.
  • Wipe your nose? Nope, scream.
  • Saline spray? Nope, scream.
  • Use the snot-sucker? OH HELL NO, I WILL LOSE MY F*#&ING MIND.

Shout out for the snot-sucker though. That’s the only thing that actually seems to do anything useful. And it’s weirdly, grossly, satisfying to collect a load of snot.

A fresh load of baby boogers. You’re welcome.